That was wonderful. No critiques from me. I am highly impressed, and the originality and emotions within the piece are breath taking. I love how you placed the dialogue, and the entire thing has a beautiful and continuous flow. This is definitely a fave story. :)

OMG, freakin beautiful, it breathes beauty, yes...

this was so good i loved it, it was very beautiful!

perfectly fitting this genre. it had this gritty sort of beauty, and it was amazing. i loved the last two lines. oh my, this gives me shivers.

love, love the Tori reference in the last line ("Little Amsterdam")- even if it was meant or not. Wow. I always feel like a broken record when I'm reviewing your poetry. I loved the repetition of this, the urgent graphicness- I took it all to heart and it was awesome. And thanks for noticing the Neil Young reference in "James Dean" if I didn't thank you already!