i like the line of

i am gonethey cannot stay

that's amazing. wow. I love everything about it. RIght on.

I didn't quite get the point, as you jumped around to different things. but hey, what is poetry but to make schollars argue the meaning for the next millenia. lol

didn't quite catch the point of this point, I didn't understand some of it, but it sounded beautiful nonetheless.

I like this, especially the lines
'Soldiers marching silently
Cry an iron tear for me'
very nice :) ~Lozfairy x~

Oh, i love this. It really flowed well, almost like a song; add a few more verses and you'd have one. I love the way that some of your words rhymed with the previous line, but others didn't, it was a nice variety, Wonderfully written, and the idea of an iron tear, very original. Not quite sure what some of the metaphores meant, but i'm sure they can be taken in a number of different ways. Hats off to you once again on a fabulous poem.
~ winter

I like this... it flows really well and had good metaphors, however I must confess that I am far to tired and depressed to try and figure some of them out right now... but I really did like this. God Bless, Love,
~Bethy~

i love it. "cry an iron tear for me". there's just something about that line gets to you.