this is gonna be funny. :D

You have no idea how much I loved this. I don't go for the melodrama in reviews that much, but this chapter almost made me cry. I went through a relationship with a boy that sang in a voice like that very recently, and remembering watching him sing about me onstage (after the breakup), well... yeah, Jackie-girl and I reacted very similarly. You take these intense, powerful characters and make them so realistic, so human. It's awesome and keeps getting better. It DID take a while to get this up dear, so I'm gunna have to go back and re-read after the next update and inform you of my guesses, but I will try to tell you my ideas, since you asked for it. I can't claim they'll be anywhere close, tho.

PS- I wanna go drinking with Holden. Make him real, please?

I was waiting for the funnies... And they didn't come. Your writing style somehow seems different in this chapter, like you just decided to use a more eloquent vocabulary, for no apparent reason. I don't know, maybe I'm just annoyed at the lack of funnies. Make her drunk again. Please? =]

I really love this story up to now. You should update soon, as in very soon and I'd be extremelly happy. Wouldn't that make you happy and very joyful to make some crazy french girl living in bangkok happy? It's a one-in-a-lifetime thing, really.

This story is hilarious.

Seriously. Update, if you're still around?

wow, this is really good!
Is this story going to have sme type of couple in it?

Haha, if it is im gonna be hella annyoed if you dont tell what its going to be
=]

haha. okay, so updates son!

Yep, it sure is funny. I lurve it. great start.

*stares at screen*
*blinks*
*bursts into insane cackling*

The only thing that springs to mind right now is LOL. Maybe a little LMAO. =D

i am absolutely in love with your writing style. it reminds me of something, maybe the dialogue of juno. i'm not sure if i like the plot but i would keep reading your story just because it has a wonderful flow to it. also, the imperfection of your characters makes them beautiful.

update

i love jakiie.
i love how shes not flawlessly gorgeous and i loved the pictures of smith galli holden conor and jackie and how they arent complete studs either.

im guessing theres some brewing futur tension between holden and jackie. i missed smithyy boy in this chappie and i wonder what the real story is, about the burnt down tree.. the principles daughterr omg cant wait till next update :)

yay
its back
and im here.

I think she's going to end up with Smith and I think Connor is going to develop true full blown strong feelings for her but she's not going to reciprocate.

Or maybe she's going to end up with Galileo. Either Smith or Galileo. Smith seems like a sweetie. I think he'd seriously rock as a friend! Holden is quite the troublemaker, hehe. And I wonder if the boys who caught the tree on fire were actually Holden and the gang themselves? Hm.

gulistanlik

I likee it. And I like Jaclyn because she's an awesome bitch, and I love bitches, because they make my life entertaining. And I reeaallyy like Holden, I don't know why, but he seems like such a cool kid so far.

I'm looking forward to the next updatee.

-dmn.

Definitely admire your originality here. The characters seem like real people instead of paper dolls. As far as criticism goes, I have a couple of points.
1. I do think the story is very episodic in structure right now. If that's what you're aiming for, great. However, as a reader I need more context as to when and where the episodes are happening. For example, it took me a couple tries to understand that Jacklyn's tattoo exhibition happened right after her sesh with Conor, and that the sesh came right after the song. The fact that each takes place somewhere different threw me off because you never clarified where they were time-wise. Something as simple as saying, "after such and such they found themselves doing so and so" would help out a lot.
2. Jacklyn's kind of boring. I mean, she has an interesting personality, but right now we have no insight into why she does the things she does or how her experiences effect her. Right now she's just sort of a casual intrigue for me, rather than a complex human being. If you could talk more about what goes on inside her head, or have some sorts of change happening because of what she does, the story would be a lot more dynamic.
Normally, I would rant a little longer, but you're pretty stellar so I don't feel obligated to try and correct punctuation use like I do with almost everyone else on this site. Seriously, guys, it isn't that hard.
xoxo,
Sekhra