 Tasiha 2005-02-22 . chapter 1hm... interesting, though provoking piece, as usual...
Wow, it has a vaguely positive ending. Amazing!! *claps vigorously* hehehe. Yeah good job on that.
One wonders why 'hopes' is never capitalized while the other listed things are, one does.
One might also object very very slightly to the length of the listed things, one does. Five listed things (that's hopes, dreams, fears, hate, love) is a bit much each time. Actually you could probably do without either hopes or dreams, as the two are vaguely synonymous in the sense that they are both antonyms of fears, and since I gather that's what you're sort've going for (hate vs love, so hopes vs fears, or dreams vs fears) yeah, one of the two would be enough. I think... I like dreams better because it fits with the whole poem 'being inside the mind' sort've thing, but I like hopes better because it counters 'fears' better.
And triple kudos for a stunning conclusion line that sort've slaps the reader free of the poem. 'Let go.' so the reader lets go of the poem and hangs in nothingness and thinks. good job.
Always,KMJ |