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| skyver 2004-10-07 ch 1, anon. | abuseI really like this piece!! I think that you were able to take leave of your preponderance on verbosity and make DEEP meaning out of simple words - I think therein lies the superiority of the poet. Find your footing on the fundamentals before attempting to take on a more complex vocabulary - the essence is preeminent and all else should be built around it; prolixity is peripheral to the poetic core. |
| negligible fictional force 2004-09-19 ch 1, | abuseyou have a great vocabulary. that's always the first thing that hits me. i'm jealous. > it's nice angst. you don't go into ranting, and instead create a rapport with your reader, to make one feel sorry, sad and disturbed. it's a truly haunting piece, well done! -kismet. |
| arcanum-zw 2004-09-18 ch 1, | abuseSad, sad poem. Beautiful example with the black rose there, demonstrates the depressing irony of the situation. Well-written. |