Reviews for Ferns & lichens - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Ferns & lichens

hmmmmm 2005-06-09 ch 1,	abuse'perfect poison' - yes.
pneumothorax 2004-12-29 ch 1,	abuseThe first line is quite hard to pronounce first time; I slipped up. Maybe you meant that, so you have to say it slowly and pronounce it. Maybe not :p (maybe am just useless at pronounciation. anyway). I liked the repetition of 'green' though. It's kind of positivie - as though you meant that the person who couldn't make it was good, maybe the people who had made it had cheated and would be 'red' or bad. Though raw as an egg made me feel .. not sick, just not a pleasant image. Conjoured up a taste of raw egg on tongue (I was a small child baking.. it seemed like a good idea at the time) which may have spoilt it a bit, conveyed a feeling of disgust though. Intended? The idea of growing up in a vacuum brought up an image of seedlings - not sure whether that was brought on by the mention of them, or just too much biology - malnourished in the darkness from a junior sci experiment. Weedy, sickly. pysical idea: because someone's ill they can't be sucessful? mental: you need input of others to suceed? etc. To 'exert your power like chimney does smoke' suggests that the character doesn't mean to, and has no power. Power in this case, a rubbish derived from another product - they gain their power from someone else's sucess or failure? As in a free ride, maybe. When you call the 'green apple, seedling; pretentious;' it refers back to the first line where you called the person a seedling hidden away, it's as if you've given up on the idea that the character here is the protagonist and is no better than the rest of the apples, the green apple and seedling falling under the same category? It's strange; the seedling masquerading as an apple to get anywhere? But then you seem to seperate the two again, the seedling 'reaching for sunlight that’s too far up' but .. it's as if, although I said it initially seems as though you have, you haven't seperated the two (sucess/failure) apart again and they're both trying for the sunlight/sucess/etc but on different levels. Everyone's higher aspirations. A 'brush in a forest of trees' - brush, typo for bush? Either way, brush could refer to the chimney, sweeping up the debris from the chimney; the result of power? Marking a level on the 'forest floor', illustrating how low this seedling is. Or bush, shows that the seedling may have grown - a life-span? - but is still nothing in comparison. It doesn't say much about how this bush does in comparison to the others of its standard. Perhaps it's being neglectful - as the trees are to it, it does to others below? Anyway. The last stanza is affecting, 'sleep is the perfect posien' suggesting that the character can believe what they want in dreams, or simply that not being aware of reality is better than the reality around them. No one to see - maybe because everyone's so busy elsewhere; says something about selfishness? (divisions between rich/poor simply because nothing is equal and everyone is too for themselves?), or because no one wants to see. No one will until it's too late - and the same will happen again? Dust forgotten, a death - ashes? Put away under a rug, returns the scene to normal life where the character is forgotten. A rug a symbol that things have changed since the death? Would be a nice idea.
lola-in-slacks 2004-09-22 ch 1,	abuseI loved this. Beautiful imagery, potent language, all the stuff.

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