FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Saeger 2004-11-26 ch 1,  | abuseA good point across. Keep it up. |
| goole 2004-11-25 ch 1, | abuseWow, one of my fab poems so far! I love the way you done it, as when you spend time with your loved one; you realy do feel like the opocolyps will be the very next door. I'm sorry i haven't reviewed all your work yet, i've been seriously buisy with dealing with my Macbeth essay... SO sorry once again. |
| origamikitty 2004-11-24 ch 1, | abuseIt's good, but I would make a line break between "Act as if there isn't a tomorrow," and "and enjoy the time together now" The same thing between the words "never come," and "and then we may never". I think the last two lines you have right now are a little bit cliched. It might sound better if you took off "Who knows what..." and then cut off the last line after "Tomorrow may never come". Just a suggestion, but I think it would help the poem overall. |