I loved this story and these characters! And therefore, hated to see it end. Sigh.

I accidently sent my review before it was finished, sorry! I hope you will be a professional author of fiction in the near future, all the best and good luck with your outstanding writing,
Claudia

Dear Alyn Drasil,
I read this story last week and I absolutely loved it. I really hope you will be able to publish it comercially because this wonderful tale about these two unique and fresh characters definitely deserves to be published and read by thousands of m/mm paying readers. Even though I already know the Story I would gladly buy it as an e-book or an paperback even if you don't change a single word. And I know you said it's a rough draft, but for me it's already perfect and doesn't need any changes.
Because I love your writing so much I also Read the Gavin and Cole series and these one shots have been equally amazing and compelling. You really are a very talented writer and I hope you will be a professional author

This story is unbelievably awesome, for a fough draft. None of the characters are the least bit Gary Stu-ish, and they are just so HILARIOUS. Your story is wonderful,it really is.

For some C.C (Constructive Critism):

1. Saul is supposed to be from South Africa, but he never locks his door. The crime rate and paranoia is one of the highest in the world, and since he grew up there, he should probably have a behavior similar according to that, in that he at least lock, bolts, and shutters his doors and windows.

2. I'm rereading this story, and I just noticed that the TobyBrian thing is never tied up.

3. A lot of Vaan's dialogue starts with a " then a ' and then a word. Ex: "'ve. It may be on purpose, I really don't know, but it is a bit confusing, and looks a lot like a typo.

All in all, though, the story is pretty wonderful. Why has it never been nominated for a reward?

Love! Great story, these boys made me all smiley. I always think it's a real talent when writers can write two very different characters in a first person POV. Not everyone can make it different, but you did a really good job at that.

I really enjoyed this story. Thank you for posting it.

Finally! Lol thank you Todd!

Ok I had to leve a comment since this is like my fith or sixth time reading this story and I have to say that I love it, any gramatical and spelling errors aside! I am forever greatful that you did decide to finish it because it has been so enjoyable to read. Thanks so much for sharing! I know you hope to do some editing and possibly publishing with this (good for you!) but I sincerely hope you come back with new stories for Vaan and Saul as their hummor and energy are just so enjoyable to read about.

I can't even begin to explain how much I love this, so I'm not even going to try. Just. It feels me with such a warm happy feeling and I'm so glad you wrote it and kept writing it and FINISHED it. And I'm so happy that I found this (however long ago it was - I can't even remember) and made the decision to start reading it.

a bit confused here, when vaan and saul parted ways when vaan got lunch then brought his laundry to be washed,,, it all happened in the same day right? so i'm confused on the last paragraph... just saying...

The best story I've read in months! I love it

I loved this story. There is so much more I want to know, especially both of their family situations.

Yay so happy!

Tee hee.

I agree, more ppl should hold hands dating or not

wwwwwwwwww
it
ended
...
beautiful