I like! Keep writing!

Nothing to complain about this time. Well written, and makes me interested to know, and read, more.

didn't like the use of the adjective 'wetly' in the first paragraph, I would change this to something else. It seemed a bit immature, which is a shame because other than that your writing style is very good. Also it seemed a bit contradictory that she was glad the sun was hidden, but hated the cold. You can't have both! Could you explain this a bit more? One 'pause' will do between her shouting (instead of pause pause) or say it was a long pause.

Other than what I have stated above this was a good start to a promising piece.

As I mentioned to you before, you've grown a lot as a writer and I am extremely impressed by this story. I can definitely see inspirations from Stephen King. ;)

Anyway, it's funny to think back to Hero in the Shadows and how purely awful we were back then, heh. And look at you now! *sniffle*

My writing has been influenced (in structure) by The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge. I form sentences a lot like she does. :)

In any case, I love this!!

-Neko-chan

Well. *blink* Very descriptive. Spooky. Tense. I wish to read more of this; Cynthia is very dark - don't think I can trust her.

This is great, so please continue.

YATTA! VAMPIRES! I thought it was really good how you never said it was blood, but you implied it. 0.0 NICE. Cynthia scares me. It is never good when the person who has something you need also hates you. Heh. This shall leave to lovely angsty conflict, probably. MWEEDAH!
- Sam-chan

Nicely written, your plot grabbed me and won't let go, so here's hoping that you'll update soon.
~bleed this place