Ooh, definite intrigue. And it's only the beginning. You wrote and created this chapter in a very creative style and I hope you update this soon 'cause yeah, it's one hell of a prologue. Whoo!

hey there. =) i decided to check this out today and I'm super glad I did. it's a very nice start - you have a really smooth flow with your words. You should continue! =)

Hey, First off I would like to thank you so extremely much for all the reviews you have dropped me, for literally like all of my stories. They are honest and let me know exactly what you think, good or bad. That's something you don't always get on this site. They really mean a lot to me.

That said, I thought I would return the favor. I think that this is a pretty good start for a first story ever. There is a lot of raw emotion, things leaving the reader wondering what will happen next and what caused certain memories and events to occur. All great in adding to the suspense factor. Keep up the good work. I'm keeping my eye on this one.

Nat

Hello there! Howdy doody, I think your prologue rocks. It has so much emotion, and it's vey well written, with conviction coming along with every sentence. Well done! Keep it up, and please update! You're on my author alert list, because I would very much like to know what happens next (and *her* name). You write very good Summaries! Please update! It totally sounds like a wicked idea! UPDATE, MURKY!

hey. it's actually a really good first story. i like the dream added, and the detail. a good first story, if i may say so myself. well done! brilliant!

submit another chapter, feel free to tell me.

Moon860

This was beautiful well done, please r/r mine, keep up the great work!

wow. you say be gentle, but this is amazing. I'm not being gentle at all. I'm being completely truthful. this is absolutely amazing. I'm really glad I finally got to read this. I hope you update soon, I want to know where this is going. ~VI put up the sequel to A Perfect Game. it's not the greatest but it's on its way. thought you might like to know :)

I didn't know you started to write a story! It's a great start and definitely has me asking lots of questions which a prologue is rightly meant to do so! For your first attempt, you write like a pro!

Color me impressed! I really enjoyed your prologue. It was very well-written and intriguing. Please let me know when you update!

This is a great prologue to what sounds like a promising story. I'm not really one to give constructive criticsm, so I can't help you any, but it's really good in my opinion. Keep writing!

Hey!! I just want to thank you so much for actually going through my story (Remind Me of Yesterday) and giving me some ideas. I love constructive criticism. That's why I post half my stories. (The other's are just to have fun with, so I don't really care either way.) But anyway, I wanted to return the favour. It's good. Very descriptive, which is something I've noticed a fair number of people on here have troubles with, myself included.
It's good in terms of being mysterious, I definitely want to know what's going to happen next and what's been happening in her life.
In the last bit before the dream/memory, the book introduces a bit of a, I don't know, jolt in events. You might just want to get her to go right to sleep. Or maybe simply unable to concentrate on her book, because in the previous paragraphs she just seems very tired and not wanting to do much of anything besides think. Okay, I think I totally didn't make any sense, and I don't think that helped at all, but, meh, et alors.
Also, one last thing, the same part, you have her sigh contentedly after all the descriptions of her emotions, you might want to choose an adjective that relates to those. Ie. frustration, exhaustion...
Yeah, that's about it, I'm not the greatest reviewer, am I? Oh well, I'll keep trying. Thanks again!

dang... that was a sad dream... that'd be horrible... so, she's extremely successful..and seemingly has a life most people could only dream of..but her past haunts her... quite interesting. i hope you continue this soon. it'll be quite intriguing to see what you do with this.

Hey, this is really good! I've put you on my 'alert' list so I'll be back whenever you post next. The only thing I didn't like much, was that almost every item and word had a detailing word. Like 'handy' hairbrush and such. At first it was really genius, but after several of them the words began getting repeatitive (even though you never used the same words). That is just me though! If no one else mentions that I'm sure it is just a "sam is psycho" type of deal. But it is really good and I look forward to reading more!!

Ahh! I like this a lot!! It's very interesting and mysterious. Please, keep going! Nice beginning!
~Nikki~
P.s. Thank you so much for reviewing The Assassin of Kevari

Interesting. Using alot of "she's", which I assume is deliberate, but makes the sentence structure keep repeating. But otherwise, i like how your story flows.