realy intense like it tho i am a hristan lie te stog fing in it yu will find im vry open mind :) h and about my story friends forver. i kow what happens its coplete it sust for you to find out ;)

*jaw drops* That captures desperation perfectly! At least in my opinion. I could only find two mistakes, and those where probably more opinionwise then actual. I really like how this was worded, I can picture a teenager's mental voice ranting these lines, you have al lthe emotion there for it*claps*