This one made it into my dark book of poetry! And believe me, it takes a REALLY dark poem to make it in there. That's why none of mine are. Awesome!

A.R. Twilight

wow, i love this! the format was awesome, the rhyming great, and it was just all over a really good poem. definently goning on my favorite stories list.
-firehair

Awesome! I really like this poem. it flowed nicely, great use of language.

Oh, I really liked this poem. In fact, I had to refresh the page 5 times to review it since FP.com is sorta down. It was worth it.
This is kind of like a Romeo and Juliet... kind of... but the rhyme scheme is incredible. Excellent use of slant rhymes. And the way you changed around the refrain was good.
It's still kinda depressing though... but very well done.
Yoku dekimashita.
~Nico