i want someone to call me teddy bear. . .but i think thats everyones wish! its so sweet, short, but too the point

Just letting you all know - this is actually non-fiction. Most of the stuff I write is non-fiction, theyre my rants. This is what happened. Thankyou for all your reviews, I love them :)

No offense ,but theres nothing lovely about morning breath.

beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. So in the moment, and so vivid.

hm. This is an interesting paragraph. I like how you dont have to be a slobbering romantic to enjoy it. I does need a little more, though. Maybe keep the chapter going, introducing peoples names as you go. the only question is, What's a doona?? other than that, its good. " The smell of his sweat when he's been near the heater." This is a great sentence. put more like it in!
Flirting with Nothing

Looks promising, are you going to add more?

Wow, a different style of writing. Its good, are you going to keep going with this?

this needs more.