Reviews for Alone - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Alone - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Caleum 2006-02-22 ch 1,	abuseok first of all. This is really good. i like it. i think it's good the way you got the reader to connect with the subject by giving them an insight into the womans life and the reader discovers her boy. Your descriptions are good, clear, descriptive and concise. My english teacher would be proud. I'm rather bad at spotting places for improvement i'm sorry but yeah. Do i still get a chocolate hug?
Pure Autumn 2005-09-25 ch 1,	abusethis is really good, holds a lot of emotion etc , keep writing ur so good at it :D
Tyranu 2005-08-29 ch 1,	abuseThis is great. Keep writing =)
x-Krys-x 2005-08-05 ch 1,	abusewow.. this is really good. I think there are ways you could've made it more... i don't know the the word, but.. yeah, i think you get it. but, I still really really liked it!
E.V. Delacy 2005-06-30 ch 1,	abuseI liked this. It was very deep and very descriptive. It was very well written and it kept my attention and a very nice flow!
Jassenah 2005-06-26 ch 1,	abuseI want chocolate! just kidding... This is good writing I like your style. The story is a bit too sad for me but it's good nonetheless. I would like to read more from you.
Insomni 2005-06-26 ch 1,	abuseI think it's good, definately has potential, but I do think you could also make it better. For Constructive Critisism I have this to say: I think your character is a little flat. I know it's a very short story, and that you give the basic facts of depression, some very strong emphasis on loneliness, and the fact she has an infant son.. but I just didn't feel for her, you know? I really think the problem for me was that you didn't have her seem more concerned about her child. Tears, last moment thoughts about how he might have to go through the same things in his life.. things that would make you think maybe she cared more about him then she did her own suffering. But, then again, I suppose you were going for a more "selfish" approach with the character wanting out.. But I still think there are ways you could have made the character a little less one dimensional, and made me feel more for her plight. Otherwise, good read, and good insight on a suicider! 6/10.
SliversofSilverPain 2005-06-09 ch 1,	abusethat was heartaching. nice twist at the end, that it is her son. i thought it was her brother, but it's even more heartwrenching when its her son. well written, and has emotion behind it; i like it!
R.Valaina 2005-05-15 ch 1,	abuseToo bad it's a one shot, I really liked it. It was beautifuly written, well done! Update soon!
Widom 2005-03-25 ch 1,	abuseHm...I have a few things to say about this, actually. Number one...I like your story. In fact, I love it beams and waits patiently for next story. Number two, yes, it was short, but then, sense when does length make a difference? It was incrediably good for only being,what, a page or so? Congrats: I hope you write more in the future.
Malicious Scars 2005-01-03 ch 1,	abuseOh so sad and so well written! I demand more now! No more one-shots cause they make me terribly sad when i know they are over forever. Anyways I also wanted to thank you for reviewing Me and You? How ABOUT uS? Sh...cods being the guy is a possibility..he can clean up you know. lol, anyways, catchya later. Scars
me. 2004-12-26 ch 1, anon.	abuseAh, to be free. A good job.
Electra Black 2004-12-06 ch 1,	abuseWow. I loved it! It was amazing! you want to write more soon, you really do. please? for me? ^_^ excellent work, my dear friend! E.B x
shie 2004-12-04 ch 1,	abusewow!! I know everyone says this but your story is really good. The openining sentence is awesome it really draws the reader in, and the imagery is great too, and the emotion!! I just have one problem( its not a big problem) but how old is she? I just want to know because you refer to her son as the only one that genuinely( sp?) loves her. Anyway great job, i loved the story and one more thing, Where's my chocolate? :(
tickle-me-pretty15 2004-12-01 ch 1,	abuseIt was really sasd, that she couldn't hold on just awhile longer to see her son grow up.I promised myself i wouldn't cry

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