Wow! This is so beautiful. This is going on my favorites list for sure.

I really like the way you wrote this, repeating certain words and isolating the phrases 'to Him,' 'of Him,' and so on. The poem flows perfectly.

I know you said you originally weren't going to post this, but I'm glad you did, because it's absolutely amazing. I loved reading it. And I give you a lot of credit for putting this up here and sharing your belief with others... This is incredible.

--Katy

once again, stunning! you must be a very spiritual person, eh?

Absolutely, positively amazing. Assuming from my portfolio, you might not believe it, but I can definitely see what this poem strives to say.

To Him, of Him, for Him, with Him. This is obviously referring to the Heavenly Father. But who is saying these things, and to whom?

The very title of the poem will instantly open the door of perception, allowing you to see the answer to both of those questions simultaneously. But before I reveal what I believe to be those answers, I will show how the poem's structure, content, and composition back up and solidify the answers in a beautiful and truly poetic way.

First, every time the words "He" or "Him" is used, they are both capitalized. This is the most obvious clue.

Second, the inclusion of Angels, sins, eternity, heaven, temptations, hallowed halls, and other such religious references.

Third, everything He is saying for you to do, and what He promises in return.

The "He" of this poem is Jesus. The "you" of this poem is humanity. If you take His hand, hear His words, follow in His footsteps, throw away your fears and trust fully in Him, you will attain salvation.

I have always loved poetry that romanticizes the relationship between God and his children, because, to me, it represents the purest and most innocent love that the world has ever seen. To spread this pure love to the corners of the world is our purpose as a part of humanity. To partake in it is to realize fulfillment and joy in the most complete sense. You could lose your house, your car, your money and even your family, but if you keep hold of the love of God, you can make it through anything.

Gaki Toki, you are truly an accomplished and talented poet. To compose something as beautiul and complete and subtle and moving as this poem is, without being an overly pretentious and imposingly in-your-face piece of recruitment literature.

Those kind of poems force you, by fear, into a half-sincere faith.

This kind poem makes you want to run into His arms and never look back.

Very, very nicely done. I hope to see more of this kind of perfection in poetry from you in the future, Ms. Toki. Thank-you.

-T.J.

O-mi-gosh!! This is like...one of the most beautifully written poems I have EVER read!! It makes me wann...lol, take your hand, and hold it forever. But I can see your taken already (and so am I ), so that wouldn't really work out. But still, this is so pretty! I'm definitly reading more of your stuff!! Go you!! Oh, wait, I forgot... umm, I signed your websites guestbook, then you emailed me and asked if I was "suppi", and I orgininally came to your fictionpress to tell you that I'm not suppi, just a random person, cause my email thingy wouldn't let me email you for some reason. But yeah. Rock on Gaki!! Byes,Dai-chan!!

Right off the bat: I'm not into religion or anything spiritual. So the fact that I think this is an amazing poem is shocking. It's well written and it puts you in a state of calmness and clarity. Fantastic work. SCORE: 9/10

The Critic, Devil Dragon of Pain

that was the only 1 i have read from u but im telling u this im gonna read more, that was amazing i couldnt take my eyes off of it, i cant get over how good it woz.im gonna read more so prepare for more reveiws

Wow, this poem is so awesome and so fantastic! Wow! Also, i'd like to thank you for your very detailed review that really made me feel hopeful... there's someone out there, that will love me so much! Aw! Thanks!

Keep writing!

~Anna~

that was awesome.

ryn:thanx for your input. but seriously 14 years old? hm, sound much older to me..

~Ashley~

since I forgot to put part of this in the piano poem i'm putting it here.after i read that piano ppoem i will write a poem about the instrument i play... look for it.review it...ok i'll tell u what instrument I play.Drums! i like drums.i'll start writing the poem now.

Beautiful! I'm glad you did post this, it's wonderful!

good repition of "him" and the way each time you've made it slightly different. you've used "you" alot aswell which works, because some people if they repeat try and use it almost every line which makes the poem get boring, but this poem just works! no i didn't know Millie i was just in one of my thinking moods. i'd never heard that story untill you wrote about it, it's quite interesting actualy, do you no if it's true or just from the bible?thanks for reviewing my poem!salutations, celentia

Great Poem, I must say I have read your other poems and I enjoy them immensely.

I love this poem, specially since it's Sunday and I feel all pious..it's great and made me think a lot about Him. Awesome and thanks for reviewing!

you're a wonderful poet. thanks for the review.

SP

Haha you "blackmailed" me into checking out your stories so here i am =) haha im sorry i dun realli have the time to read ur longer stories (although the vampire one looks interesting) but this poem is nice.. Erm, quite happy and holy? Rather happy guess that's what i'm trying to say.. I'm not a Christian but I get what you're trying to say.. Haha i'm more used to writing the angsty pangsty stuff.. =] Check out my stuff soon kz? there will be more soon (i hope) nice poem =)