love the ending..

i think this story plot had a lot of potential, but you didn't use it to its fullest. this was very rushed and way too short. it would've been a very good long story. just letting you know..

ok i share you hate for the story... i just think that in your haste to finish it you just rushed it all... way too cliched. *sigh* it could have been better. . .blah blah blah. . . oh ** who am i kidding! ok it SUCKED! if you dont like a story plz! dont finish it the ending will always suk! if you had waited you maybe would have developed a licking to it again. oh well to late now. i just hope some of yoru other stuff is better. the story line was good but like i said you lost interest. other than the major typos ,due to lack of interest, the writing was pretty good, in general, good job. just do better next time.

great ending!! pretty short...but I still liked it! um...i like it when you included a long lost past and hot rock star!! really cool...keep up the good work!!

o woah...something going on...too bad its the ends already...so loving it...

gr! that was it! arg! *sigh* oh well. hey i'll write my big and final review when you put up the epilogue. i seriously can't at the moment. hurry tho!

hey dissydei... aww.. its over so soon? but i loved the ending.. i cant wait to read the next story that you have...-bev-

Okay, I would like to give you some tips. Heh. Tips.

I think that you should focus on your typos. Like some other person said, halepeno is not a word. Jalepeno is. If you have Word, use the spellchecker, and then have a beta look over it. You could have used the spellchecker, but you still might have made typos (I know I do).

The plot seems kind of confusing sometimes, so could you specify who is talking, and you might want to go further in detail about Christina's life.

Also, in one of the chapters, you misspell her name by writing it as Christian instead of Christina. I have a problem with that because my name is Christina XD.

However, I admire the fact that you are brave enough to post your work up expecting reviews, so I hope you heed my advice and improve ^_^.

Hey!Wow!Damien don't know that Christina the girl he screw up her life.I wonder what will Damien do when he discover who's she?Why does Christina wants pay back to Damien who he done to her?Why does Damien and Christina had fight but went separate lifes?Wow!Hurry update soon.

that was awesoem hope you updates soon ^

Look kiddo, there are some good things happening in this story, but the massive amounts of typos is holding you back. I would strongly encourage using spell check and getting someone who you know can catch every mistake to proofread before you post. For example: it's 'jalapeno' (as in the very hot pepper used in mexican dishes that you reference in chapter two) and "Great such crap I write" (Chapter 7) is not a sentence, and while I can't give you exact grammatical reasons why, I do know that any of my high school teachers would have ripped me a new one if I wrote something like that. I realize that I'm sounding a bit harsh, but I hope you understand why I'm telling you this. Your sloppy writing is only hindering you from becoming a better writer. Something else you may want to try is take a chapter of your work to an English teacher (or some other teacher) that you trust and have him/her read it over and give you feedback. I haven't actually read your entire story (I stopped at the misspelled jalapeno in chapter 2), but I did see mention of you taking down your story to rework in the reviews. That's a great idea. 99% of authors (which, by the way, is spelled wrong in your profile) edit their work several times. It shouldn't take away from your current fanbase and, if anything, should attract more loyal readers. Anyway, I hope you understand that I'm not saying you're a horrible writer and what are you doing posting your stories on fictionpress and blah blah blah, but that I'm honestly trying to help you see how you need to improve your writing. All the best,

Sarah

Brilliant!

OMG!! You have no idea how happy i am that you updated!!

anyway, what's up with the Christian thing? Hmm.

Lovely chapter, albeit a bit short.

Happy writing! :)

wow great storty i like the fact that he didnt recognise her at first. please update soon!

hey little advice, ok i really like the story but the chapters are too short in my opinion. when there short it tends to squeeze in thought and not have as much detail. now while i'm on that subject, you need to add more detail. its not too bad but adding more will help readers to visualize things. i know you may think it is fine but what you see in your head is not what readers gather frim your words so writers have to make up for it. lol. well i am really enjoying the story so far, and im glad you didn't take it off! add another chap soon!