Hah! I've always wondered how people walk straight after one of those retinal scans.

Paragraph 5: "He shook his head; his eyes will adjust to it" 'his eyes will' is in present, while 'shook' is past. I think you should put them both in past, to fit the general jibe of the paragraph.

Two paragraphs from the bottom: "Having tossed over 50 of its strength into this fight, Earth was now terrifyingly alone and weak" It took out your percent sign. Grr, document manager does that to me too. You'll probably want to type out 'percent' after the fifty if you edit this.

Last paragraph: "With a gentle hum, the holo-projector situated in the hub of the round table flickered to life, playing the report PHANTOM has hastily assembled through a jigsaw of recordings from the Light Cruisers and Paratroopers who had survived the operation" 'PHANTOM has' should probably be put into past tense ('PHANTOM had') to fit the rest of the paragraph.

I love what you're doing with this. You're handling this story really well. Can't wait to find out what happened! Keep up the great work! ^_~

interesting chapter, not enough meat to chew on though. just curious, is PHANTOM an acronym or is it just the name you decided to use for your military intel. organization?

will be waiting for more to come

Sorry, two things. One: I think you edited the summary, because only just now did I notice the comment about supersoldiers. Either that of I'm even more oblivious than I though. But, I might point out how much ofa genius I am for having figured that out without the summary. (and so modest too.) (ha. ha.)

And Two: I didn't say it the first time I reviewed because I was short on time and read and reviewed in a few minutes while I stopped at the library to return a book and my dad waited in the car. What I wanted to say is: Write more as quickly as physically/humanly possible.

Walker/Techy El Nerd/Wraith

All right, two things. First, these Halo references convince me even more that you're making your own superssoldiers. And two, Warzone is accesible again after they upgraded and I posted.

Walker/Wraith/Techy El Nerd

a little different than what you started out initially with the "wing commander" clone, but enough to capture attention. it's a short scene and length could really help you out here.

anyways, not much to say except i'll be waiting for the next chapter.

one big data dump lol.

intriguing though, to say the least. i can sense certain gundam / halo influences here but i'll wait and read to see how it all pans out.

Short, odd sounding, but good. Unfortunately short, but you have my thanks for posting in this story. The Lt.'s description of what happened sounded odd though. Please write more soon, too. I especially like this story since my Felinar pay such an important role. I'm also looking forward to the U.R.Z.'S first meeting with the True Felinar. That'll be... fascinating.

Walker/Wraith/Techy El Nerd

Hi, I'm just doing this because I'm bored and sick at home, but several things (only one relates to this story).

1. 'March 29, 2238A.D.- the Felinar break through Martian defenses and land on the planetary surface. Humans get their first glimpse of the genetically enhanced Felinar soldiers as they overrun half of New Istanbul in one day.'Why don't you change 'genetically enhanced' to 'genetically, chemically, and cybernetically'? That would cover the whole spread of Tri forces. Geneticists, Chemists, and Cyberneticist. Maybe you should also mention the Puritans.

2. Please write more of this soon (it's very good). I was also going to say post more on the RPGs, but then realized that it just seems like you haven't posted in a while because I've been sick, so forget about it.

Walker/Wraith/Techy El Nerd

Good, you fixed the HTML problem. Agin, this's pretty good. Are you going to write more or just leave it as this one-chapter timeline?

Wraith/Walker

(BTW, would you mind reading/reviewing my story here, the Shadows of War? It's a fantasy novel about the Marlborough School of Natural and Human Magia, I posted something about it in the Novels/Novellas board on Serium, if you'll remember)

I'll post this on you human app on Warzone, and I have a fe comments. 1: Is this part of the story you said you were writing about Warzone? Because two things about the RPG: First, you went way past 2089 A.D. which I though was when "Warzone 2089 A.D." took place. Lastly, your storyline with the Felinar-Human war is fine, but not, I think in context w/ the RPG. The Triumvirate is trying to pull a sneak attack so they would be communicating, etc. Again, this is very good, but not in context or with the Warzone RPG. Am I right when I guess that this is not for that?

Mrow, annoying visible html formatting, but interesting! I edited out the html garbledebaps at the end of the story and read... let's say about the last half page and the first few paragraphs. It sounds interesting! End of the world goodness ^_^. Anyhow you have the ever-interesting 'journal entry' format going, and you've done a very effective job of it too. I likes! Can't wait for the next chapter (and hopefully a html-less update of this one? ^_^; *sweatdrop*)!
Sorry it's been so long since I reviewed.
~Pont

Dude, you best repost this, the Document Mangler really did a number on it.

~He Who Walks On All Fours