 Larina 2004-10-27 . chapter 1 I like Jarrod. He seems like a jerk. >:)
Your characters are very interesting. They seem quite textured. You have a great ability to create the sense of an unspoken past, both in their interactions and Selena's reactions to their actions. Example: Her thoughts when Jarrod messes up his hair.
I don't want to discourage you, but I feel as though it could stand some polish. It felt a bit choppy.
I assume there's more to come? I certianly hope so. This has captured my attention. |