It's really good so far. Please update soon.

Grammar note: Always use a comma before typing a name or term for another person!ex: “What’s the latest news Luc?”should be “What’s the latest news, Luc?” and “As you should hun, as you should,” should be “As you should, hun, as you should,”

There were a lot more just like that in all of the chapters, so yeah...

Aanyways... it's getting even better! I feel more like I actually know the characters now and I am quite curious about Tyce. A murderer? Oh.

Interesting start, but it needs some work. You have trouble with run-on sentences, so you might want to have someone do a proofread for you. Also, the story needs more details to help the reader get involved in it.

~He Who Walks On All Fours

please update.

Omgs. Wow. Please. Please update soon.

Oh, very interesting start. I like him, and I like the narrator. It is a little rough, but the idea's definitely there. Mostly just grammar and a few run-on sentences(the hair floating around mask and whatnot especially caught my eye). Anyways... not bad at all.