FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| arcanum-zw 2004-11-03 ch 1,   | You've brought out the emotions very well here. Didn't waste time going into the minute details of the squabble, but rather focused on the emotive bits of it. Very true-to-life narration of events. |
| Ohmm 2004-11-02 ch 1, | Ah. No offense, but you have a very good understanding of the feminine, which was required for this kind of writing. You've pulled it off quite nicely. This is one of those scenes that come from near the middle of a romance novel (i.e. those books that always have the same plot but you just can't help reading them all). Which leads to the question - do you want to flashback it or leave it hanging? It's nice as a single, but [pressurepressure] I'll look forward to seeing what happened BEFORE and what WILL happen. =) It'll take skilful linkages and stuffage, but I think you can pull it off. Good job here! |