A lot of spelling and grammatical errors. Not a bad effort overall though.

You reviewed one of my stories two years ago. I haven't been on here in eons. I found it funny how you said one shouldn't make allowances to those who are younger. It's like you expect a 12 year old to write the same way an adult does. If they did, the 12 year old would have to be a genius, no?

Sure you don't need a big vocabulary to be a good writer. But it sure as hell does help.

I'm pretty annoyed at you dashing the hopes of my 12 year old self. But it was two years ago and I wish I'd done something back then.

On hindsight, I think you were just jealous. Haha.

P.S. Don't bother replying.

Wow, not bad :D. I like the story and the way you had John and Edward meet up again, hehe :D. The way that they talk and respond to each other can sometimes make the conversation flow weird, but at the same time, it gives more character to them. Great job, I like the story alot :D.

The story itself is good; but I do suggest a read-through to edit out your syntax errors. Some that stood out to me were:--"could of" and "would of" should be "could have" and "would have."--phrases like "longer then" or "more then" should be "longer than" and "more than."--a few sentences need to be separated or at least properly punctuated, such as: "I doubt that lad, me and my mates ain't planning..." Either separate it so it's "I doubt that lad. Me and my mates ain't planning..." or replace that comma with a semicolon. (and it should technically be "my mates and I," however the character may not have the education to know that, so that's all right.

Just things like grammar and such are really the only problems I see here, which--when it comes to writing--is not so bad a problem :) Grammar can always be fixed rather easily, but it's harder to fix the story itself, and I don't think you need to worry about that yet.

Hi, Haagan Dazz here. ^_^ I thought this was a pretty good story, though the plot isn't clear yet. The dialogue was a bit confusing in the very beginning, and also toward the end. A couple grammatical mistakes, but nothing too major. Looking forward to chapter two.

It's a good enougth story but it lacks good detail and flow. It really didn't have enough to draw me in.

Try working on makign it flow better and adding some more details and such.

Please Review me back,~D

Very well done, Jen. A few bit rough spots, but those can be smoothed over easily. So far, you've got a winner. I hope you continue it!

The title of this reminds me of a short story, I think it was by Bruce Coville... anywho, I think the begining need some work, it just doesnt draw you in, and some parts arent very clear. Happy Writing!

The use of plain dialogue at the beginning is great, drawing the reader (as I am) in to read more. The dialogue's context throughout is realistic and has a nice charm to it. Sounds odd, doesn't it? lol

I can't find any mistakes and although you lack some description, the way you've written makes description less of a necessity. I must commend you on the format you've used (dialogue then description then dialogue again). It breaks it up and is something different from anything I've seen.

The cheek and humour you have given the characters is excellent. 'Farewell, I wish you luck with the circus or army, perhaps one day you shall be knighted' among other things made me laugh. *claps*

Lovely story over all.

Well This is an interesting flick it had me laughing a bit really. Not many find a way to put humor in their stories! The dialogue in the beging can get a bit confusing on who saying what to whom and how many are actualy there..you figure that out latter of course. Nice. Refresning from the others.

Lot's of dialogue, a bit too much and it detracts from the story. However, still pretty good. I was a bit befuddled during the whole horse stealing bit but I think I worked it all out. Good story line though!

Oh, I should check this site out. Nice fic, it's absolutely awesome and you should have a link to it in your fanfiction bio. I love the setting, even though I don't exactly know when it is, but it seems medieval and that appeals to me so much as a reader and writer because you can do almost anything with that time!!
Anway, fantastic fic!!
Proma