 SilverSpinner 2004-11-25 . chapter 1I could end it at "seeking truth / when it died long ago," but I feel I have to tell the rest of this story; particularly in the last stanza. As for the formatting; I'm sorry about that, I don't know how to fix it. I think FP just revamped the editing process and I'm VERY confused. I can't figure out how to stop it from being double-spaced! Gah. Anyway. Thanks for your review! Yes, you. Thank you. |
 Camman 2004-11-25 . chapter 1Interesting poem, though it starts to lose momentum after the 5th stanza of the same thing, you might consider shortening it, or adding some new material, but it needs something, it starts to drag near the end. And it needs some better formation, it is too long with it all double spaced, like the words are straining from the weight of themselves. Very good emotion, with nice visualization. |