FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Stassney 2005-03-27 ch 1,  | abuseits beautiful ... i think we share a lot of emotions ... and views of love and the memories of love |
| wordsworth in a garbage can 2005-02-23 ch 1, | abusewow. that was simply of unspeakable proportions. very good job! |
| Passage 2004-12-01 ch 1, | abuseWe all wish we could return, and fix what should never have been broken |
| SilverSpinner 2004-11-25 ch 1, | abuseI could end it at "seeking truth / when it died long ago," but I feel I have to tell the rest of this story; particularly in the last stanza. As for the formatting; I'm sorry about that, I don't know how to fix it. I think FP just revamped the editing process and I'm VERY confused. I can't figure out how to stop it from being double-spaced! Gah. Anyway. Thanks for your review! Yes, you. Thank you. |
| Manmade Genesis 2004-11-25 ch 1, | abuseThat's the trouble with memories. |
| Eagle Seance 2004-11-25 ch 1, | abusethe short line format really enhanced the flow of the poem, i think. all the imagery is well used and vivid. i especially liked the second verse. Great work. |
| Camman 2004-11-25 ch 1, | abuseInteresting poem, though it starts to lose momentum after the 5th stanza of the same thing, you might consider shortening it, or adding some new material, but it needs something, it starts to drag near the end. And it needs some better formation, it is too long with it all double spaced, like the words are straining from the weight of themselves. Very good emotion, with nice visualization. |