Kudos to ya...what a thrill and very suspenseful. Kept me on the edge of my seat, a very enjoyable piece!

Now that is what I am talking about! The quintessence of fear, pain and shocking relization! Perhaps you should experiment with another form to tell the story, like omniscent. It is extremely difficult to capture the emotion and convey it to your audience without changing it to limited. Good luck!

freaky...Only because I had that dream last night...well 2 nights ago. i had a dream I saw a girl do that in the bathroom but I couldn't make out whos he was. Well ramble review lol...So anyway the poem was really good and defenitely something we wonder about...Will they even care when we die?

Hey! It's you again! You seem to be very good at this kind of thing. I commend you. You kinda wonder that sometimes, don't you? If you died would anyone care? I know how that goes as far as the wondering part. Keep up the good work, and as always my eyes will be open.

good one. it asks a very good question. sometimes i wonder the same thing. your a talented writer, keep it up.

omg. i was left in suspence all the way through that. that was onme of the best poems ive read

excellent,This was very well done. Keep up the goodwork. Love you Keith Andrew

Wow im not really sure how to react to this one. Beatiful way with words, but terrible meaning.

o is really good!love the last few lines.