FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| laughter at the funeral 2005-05-23 ch 1,  | abuseit has a somewhat of classical rhythm to me...its kind of rare these days...good job... truly yours... |
| Suicidal Skies 2005-04-04 ch 1, | abuseLovely, it has that questioning mode to it, amazing ^^ |
| INTP 2005-02-20 ch 1, | abuseYou've really addressed an issue that a lot of people are becoming aware of, something that is as intensive and significant on our psyches as the fear and anguish of the a-bomb was to those in generations back. The last three sentences just encapsulate what I and many others feel in a universe spanning billions of light years, where we are a meaningless speck of existence. And you do it without the technical jargon or the cold, dissecting voice of a scientist. You infuse your poetry with vigorous, resonating modern sentiment. Your observation of the world around you (and this certainly comes out clearly in your poems) seems very keen and penetrating, and you turn those observations into visionary, inspired art, a vibrant commentary on the life around you. |
| kiwitastrophy 2005-01-30 ch 1, | abuseHnn. It's a bit "cliché" |
| cheeseworth 2005-01-07 ch 1, | abusethis is lovely. you've got the technical and conceptual parts of the poem right under your control, which is great. i love the rhythm of this; your line breaks are well excecuted and the word choice (in relation to the syllables) is well thought out. and the reptition of 'so' was provocative. also, your language has a nice, archaic feel to it, and your vocab is very appropriate too. astract is good, to me at least. p.s. thanks for the reviews. :) |
| Chaloux 2005-01-05 ch 1, | abuseThanks for the review. Neat poem. You're a confusing person. |
| frugale 2004-12-31 ch 1, | abuseA classical twist? Very well written, and lovely formatting. |
| NeuroticGothicLolitaDeathDo... 2004-12-18 ch 1, | abuseHi, I'm writing to let you know I haven't been uploading any of my work because someone has been plagerizing it. Until everything is cleared up, I'm keeping off of fictionpress. However, if you have a livejournal you can add me (xlolita_complex) and my work will be on there, and there's also a syringeoverload community if you're interested. Thanks so much for taking your time to enjoy my work ^^Dolly |
| hmmmmm 2004-12-05 ch 1, | abusehey! alright, bear with me here; this one is probably gonna be long. thanks for noticing that i changed my account [= like you said, the stuff over on my new one is a little deeper. i'd gotten sick of most of the work on FAKE?romances and looking at it was driving me insane. and i was tired of deleting stuff i didn't like, because it takes forever to delete fifty-four pieces of work. so i guess i just decided to start fresh...i don't feel as stupid when i give out the link to this one, haha. OKAY. your poem. i lovelovelove the opening line. it's just so perfect. in the next line ('So, I astir in trepidation, trembling.') i'm not sure if 'astir' has been used correctly...would it be 'I stir in trepidation' or 'I'm astir in trepidation'? it just seemed to be a little awkward. excuse me if i'm wrong though. i really admire the 'perishable me' comparison. your poem is so original, not cliche at all; every word of it is right in place. you know how sometimes you'll read a poem where it ends oddly? well, yours wasn't one of those. its conclusion fit with the rest of the piece. anyway, wow. your writing is so sophisticated...maybe someday i'll be as good as you [= oh, and thank you for always reviewing my work! i'm gonna try to review yours more often now...i'd totally abandoned FP for like a month there. |
| simpleplan13 2004-12-02 ch 1, | abusevery thoughtprovoking |