This is your most original piece by far. Good that you're using it on your portfolio.

(It seems you have already handed it up, but I think you should have chosen fewer pieces, say six, and just concentrated on reflecting on them. Many portfolios are submitted each year and more often than not, they judge you based on your power of reflection because that's what truly helps you improve.)

Anyway, your poetry has really taken a turn for the better. Not the kind of thing I really enjoy, but you can see the change. So good luck on getting in for CAP!

This is great, just as I'd expect. You know, on a paper the other day I listed you as my favorite poet.

heey melly. what a cute poem =) so difficult to start and end with me. yay love it.

lovee,rei.

Lovely. The formatting is interesting and quite effective. I love the first line. I love a lot of the other ones, too, but that one's my favorite.

i like it.

-natt.

This is mind blowingly beautiful and I would place a long chain of perfectly sequenced vocabulary words residing on a higher plane of being to describe the shattering way this has affected me, but alas, I have come to this small slice of poetic heaven far too late in a long que-line of reviews and am currently devoid of anything truly meaningful and of any actual worth. However, I will say that the enjambment left me panting with both envy and awe, and that I am now covered in goosebumps from the sheer divinity of this piece. it is, obviously, a favorite.

Waha. Me is sleepy so me has bad grammar and me didn't quite get the poem. Very creative idea though, and the similar number of syllables in each line makes for a very consistent and rhythmic flow (when read aloud, which I did).

This is angst?

melly has wonderful vocab. i think i'm faving this... *adds* it's interesting how you started and ended each line with "me". not easy. i applaud you, melly.

This, lol, I'm just going to say it's very original, with amazing imagery...and bloody brilliant as usual, but my interpretation of it must be quite wrong so i won't say what I think it means. Angst is good sometimes ;). Love, Mia

ah, this is such a cool format, and it sounds even cooler read out loud.

i love 'love's sugar shame', and 'lavalamp lime'. i like how you use your words.

the whole poem has a nice rhythm to it :)

hello. i have decided to finally review you, despite having read pretty much all your pieces before. i thought this was, obviously, very unique. imagery was fantastic; bizarre in a great way. i think ignoring the basic rules of english like punctuation and capitalisation was very apt for your poem; full-blown elegance which leaves the reader breathless. however, i thought the dashes weren't that necessary. otherwise this poem was really cool. it's great that you're experimenting with structure.

Oh WOW. You're poetry is something else, on a different caliber from every other professional poets out there. I believe you're the precocious one. I could never have written something like that at your age, let alone think of some clever formatting such as that. As usual, the descriptions are wonderful, beautiful, and they evoke powerful imagery that leaves the reader breathless. I also like the extremely clever use of me at the beginning of these words, and then they start another one. Through these exquisite imagery, they have an overall connection that comes from surrealism. You ought to get your works published IMMEDIATELY! These poetry are simply wonderful, nothing short of pure perfection, and I can't say anything else except I've been stunned into silence. There are no words to describe the magnificence of this piece, so I will not try. My poetry can't compare to yours. If my poetry is good, then your poetry must be godly. That's how good it is. Oh, wow. WOW. This work's brilliance is forcing me to use monosyllabic sentences, because it's one of the best things to come on Fictionpress. Wow. Wow. WOW. Really, really, GOOD.

chibichocobo

the me thing was really interesting. brilliant idea.

though i thought you hated angst? hmn. haha. but its ok. sometimes you just have to write angst so yah.

to be really honest, i don't really get this piece. yah. i know you're angry. and... nothing else.

but the images that came into my mind were really, urm... for want of a better word, realistic.

yah. i think angular brackets would've looked better though. too bad they didn't work.

icykayle.

Great work miss fae-o'-words.Fantastic format... and nicely angsty. Great work.

-Stones decay, words lastNick

PS: You have earnt the jade of Yvne. Well done.

*high five* strange people are cool ^-^ (I'm just specil :)) Anyways, that was a BRILLIANT poem, you're a far better poet than me. Hope to see more from ya!

~Sumi-chan; What you call love, I call pain.