this seems like a very interesting story...hope u update soon

A darling idea with brilliant potential. I'll have to read some more of your recent stories - because I think with practice and good constructive criticism you could well be an amazing writer. There are some minor spelling/grammar issues, and some typos (which I'm just insanely picky about), but the story itself shows promise. Were you planning on taking this farther? Have you in another story and I'm just too much of a tool to look for it this late in the evening?

Doesn't matter - point is - I dig the concept. The story and the flow need some tweaking, but the eloquence is there, and you obviously have read enough or watched enough to be comfortable with terminology.

And I absolutely adore the name Kite in this particular world and scenario. ;)

Keep writing. I'll read more soon.

Top story, Quinn! I really got abosorbed into this one and it has a great plot - good original idea too. There are a few words missing in certain places, but that's minor. Adios!