Deep . . .

how lovely...

aw datz so nyc n so gud

sad, but perfect.

Wow, this is powerful! The rhyme pattern is perfect, and your word use really helps enforce the power of this poem. IT's really sad, I think its great.

A nice poem - I definitely like the idea behind it. You might want to change your rhyme scheme though, it gets a bit awkward in places and the rhythm alters a lot (e.g. "and it broke my heart..."). Try reading it out loud, I've often found it helps smooth things out. I really liked it though, very sweet and very sad. Keep up the good work!