Oh, this is nice. :) I'm glad how you made it be descriptive, and made the girl have emotions in only 50 words... :)

There's only one thing that I can think of, and it won't mess up the 50 word count... I think that the ["...and the beginning on a new one."] should be, "...and the beginning OF a new one."

:)

That's all, great job! :D

AvidWriter-92.

GF. (2/11.)

wow, I thought the drabble was already an interesting exercise, but this is great!

Write a short story in 50 words? That sounds impossible, yet I think you did a wonderful job with this one, especially the last sentence.

Good, short story. Nice job with such few words. Keep writing!

Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer.

Twilight Starr

Woah, that's really cool how you can convey so much with only fifty words. That's really awesome. I love the imagery, beautiful. Great job!

Wow, I didn't know stories came so small! Sure enough, this one has a beginning middle and end. It's a story. ;-) You do well at describing the scene, especially the important details when the lady passes away, even thought the piece is concise. The only way I think this piece can be made better is fixing the tense change in the second sentence. The whole piece except for that sentence is written in present tense, so it distracts from the message of the story when we're suddenly looking at the same events as if they're in the past, then in the present again. Other than that, it's great. Keep up the good work. :-)

Awesome. So simple. So serene. This is really nice.

This is really cool. In 50 words, you really managed to capture the moment quite well. Excellent job!