FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Twilight Starr 2008-07-01 ch 1,  | abuseGood, short story. Nice job with such few words. Keep writing! Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Shiko87 2006-03-02 ch 1, | abuseWoah, that's really cool how you can convey so much with only fifty words. That's really awesome. I love the imagery, beautiful. Great job! |
| Sheelawolf 2005-01-23 ch 1, | abuseWow, I didn't know stories came so small! Sure enough, this one has a beginning middle and end. It's a story. ;-) You do well at describing the scene, especially the important details when the lady passes away, even thought the piece is concise. The only way I think this piece can be made better is fixing the tense change in the second sentence. The whole piece except for that sentence is written in present tense, so it distracts from the message of the story when we're suddenly looking at the same events as if they're in the past, then in the present again. Other than that, it's great. Keep up the good work. :-) |
| The System Mother 2005-01-12 ch 1, | abuseAwesome. So simple. So serene. This is really nice. |
| Gemema 2004-12-13 ch 1, | abuseThis is really cool. In 50 words, you really managed to capture the moment quite well. Excellent job! |