 my-vision 2004-12-10 . chapter 1hey just a few suggestions: *quiet instead of quite in "the relief of a quite note in music"; *wrap instead of rap in "rap me in your arms without a sound." also, in the stanza "and if i woke up tomorrow..." you change tenses, so i don't know which one you'd want to go with.beautiful wording. you have such a knack with both simplicity and extravagance. great job! |