I didnt even know you wrote, but since Im a writer too, I thought I could give you some stuff to work on.So far, this is really interesting and well thought out. For the most part there aren't a lot of grammer mistakes, but you might want to get someone to proof read.And the only other thing is at times, you can repeat words, such as "tad" and "at large"...try a variety of words.Keep writing!

I liked your writing style so much in "The Book of Ages" I decided to try another one of your stories out. Another score on my tallyboard.

great job so far, keep writing!