Outstanding. To the point. Not vague, nor too direct. Do you think you could write a 2nd verse?

omg i love sensual phrase. this was pretty darn good. but if you want me to be perfectly honest, the whole secret garden thing sounds pretty common. if you called it a field of passion, i think it would have been better for the song. but that's just me. and i dont matter. p.s. i like your user name too :)

sounds like a song...sort of...anyways, great job, i really liked this!

Wow, it sounds like song lyrics/poetry! (thats good by the way) It is very sensual. But i love the way its subtle and not so OUT THERE. So yeah, it's great!

Ahh I love your work!

exquisite poetry! i like the images uve contained in ur poem just by using words

awesome work!!

Into that magical Eden I would gladly plunge my soul. m

Yu know what? I just love reading songs. Mostly cuz I love music so much. I have fun putting them to music. I really like this. I wish I could hear it the way you intended it though. We all have different imaginations right? Well, keep up the good work.~shinji

Most mesmeristically and beautifully written CC. I wonder what inspired this one? What specific "manga" moved you?

K

Beautiful peice. As though you were pleading with the reader to see who you really are and stay and taste the enjoyment. Great peice. Loved it.