|Reviews for A City of Lost Dreams|
| Gameprowler713 1/5/05 . chapter 3
That was a pretty good story. _ I can tell you're doing better with your writing. Of course, there's still grammactical errors, slighter misspellings; blah blah blah, you know, the usual stuff. But what I felt was the most trouble, was understanding your story. I liked the prologue, though, that sounded together. But the rest of the chapters kinda got me lost a little. I think you need to add more detail. Oh, and you should be more clearer on who's talking, at least adding a nes paragraph when someone's gonna talk or done talking at least if you can't use the quotation marks ("put something for the charcters to say in here"). ...By the way, what type of program do you use to write your stories and poems? I use Microsoft Word for mine.
Oh yeah. You said you e-mailed me in the last review you gave me. Sorry, but I didn't receive it. I checked both of my accounts, too. Maybe there's something wrong with our e-mail services, like they aren't compatible or something. But if that's true, then this is the first time it's happened to me! Maybe you should try to get a yahoo account (they're free to use), or something. Or maybe I should get a different e-mail address... I dunno. But one of those things gotta work. If I get a new e-mail address I'll tell you.
...Too bad they just don't have a PM (private message) system on Fictionpress. If they did that'd be cool.
Gameprowler713 (e-mail: )
| Sidious Sam 12/20/04 . chapter 1
This is less a prologue and more a concept, but I'm just nit picking.
I'd not mention anything that is a plot line in your story intro though, spoils everything.
. If you get a chance, could you r/r some of my material?
| demiXgod 12/20/04 . chapter 1
I kinda wish you wouldn't've mentioned one of the characters dying. That sounds like it would have been an unexpected turn in the story. Sounds interesting though. When's it start?