I wish you wrote more to this story I loved it.

Update! -pokes-

brilliant, keep on going.

That was a daring chapter, and not just for the characters, but for you as well. All in all, I'd say you handled it pretty well. I continue to look forward to each installment.

Excellent!! Great character development! I'm really enjoying this, so please write more!!

wow, now you have my entire curiosity on the line here trying to figure out what's going to happen next. I like how you have built up the backgrounds on each of the characters and am wandering how exactly they knew each other and such.

Great work, keep on going, am knawing on my nails here trying to figure out what's gonna happen.

Beautiful as always, I enjoy the story. Have a great time. -Sera

Ok, so not an action-packed chapter, but definitely necessary for building up the story. I could get nitpicky about word choices and sentence structure, but I'm tired and don't feel like being nitpicky. So carry on, and I look forward to Kara and Dylan's inevitable meeting.

Wow, this is a really good piece. Can't wait for more! Keep writing. -Lizagna

I've never been to NYC, but when I think of Harlem, I don't think of a "neat, well-trimmed and wealthy neighborhood". How positively stereotypical of me!

Wow. Good chapter here. Such a close call between our two protagonists. I'm glad you gave us a little more into Kara's background. I definitely look forward to reading more. Do keep writing.

Amazing job. Loving it.

You're building an intriguing story so far, and you're doing it well, too.

Comparing and contrasting the kind of people Dylan and Kara are works well to build them up as characters. I hope to see you flesh out their motivations some more as this thing progresses.

If I have one exceedingly tiny nitpick, it's Nick's description of Dylan:

'He’s pretty much a reclusive' - I think you mean 'He's pretty much a "recluse"'.

Anyway, keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more.

Awsome story, it's not that overplayed, with all the "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" more people need stories like this. This seems odd though, the story so far sounds like an rp I had with a friend. Just something in our spare time but whatever. Great job on your timing, it seems you understand dynamics in writing. -props- Sera

All I can suggest is do a bit more research. You're style is superb, and the story itself is really gripping so far. All I feel it lacks, is the little element of realism from doing a bit of research on the cities. What casino in Vegas? What suite (they usually have names?) Mentioning Bluetooth and Starbucks were excelent touches of realism, and realism really helps make a thriller come to life. But don't worry, I'll keep reading anyway :)

Very good... I know it's fun to leave stories like this on such amazing cliffhangers but it's JUST NOT FAIR! PLEEZ pleez pleez update as soon as you can! x x x Woona x x x (RDGW) x x x