Reviews for A Friend Treasured

Lukertin 2005-04-25 ch 1,	abuseYea, I question your structure of rhyme here. (Hey, you asked for constructive criticism so here I am) I think what detracts from the 'poetic' feel is that the rhyming is almost forced, and each line feels like prose, not poetry. For example, the first two lines could be fixed to A friend like you is a treasure to behold,One that stands the test of time which makes things old. Using terms like "make me blue" sounds kinda childish (belongs more in a song than a poem). Then, you repeat the main themes of the poem too much. Saying the same thing over and over is fine, but you fall to the mistake of expressing the same idea just using different words and not much else. Oi, and it's too happy-go lucky, making it sound indeed like a song. Just my 2 cents.
Dr. Painful 2005-04-24 ch 1,	abuseWow, you must like having friends! Oh, yea, chapter 3 on Sokato: The Mixed Worlds is up, will you read it?
airborne 2005-01-04 ch 1,	abuseI love it! Its really sweet and i related it totally with my best friends! Its great! xx
spellbound-starbe 2004-12-25 ch 1,	abusethis is a good poem, but try to give the message in a way that is not so obvious; subtle. also, either use contractions or don't. really good poem!
LegendaryPunk29 2004-12-25 ch 1,	abuseso far, all I can say bout u, is that u r a great writer. I love da way u write it and stuff u write bout. Nice job here again, keep writing and neva stop!! I love ur work, just know that~