wow, creepy! but it is so good!

What is the ICU room? I'm hooked. I'd like to know more about the color of their hair and their face instead of what they're wearing.The sickness thing was very sudden. And though you mentioned something before like "she was very sick" it gave me no hint. The last paragraph is a little odd. Instead of 'When...' shouldn't it be like 'One day Renny got sick... her fever went up to 105.5...' It would make a little more sense.

Creepy.When you say numbers like 4 then switch to twelve... it seems a little careless. Discriptions is a major issue. I can't seem to tell what anyone's facial expressions look like... or anything. The whole grave thing seems like a different version of "The Face on the Milk Carton"... It's a really nice plot though.

GREAT story! It's freaky, and it really captures the reader. There're a couple of grammar mistakes, but nothing bad. Keep up the good work!

*mouth drops* DEAR LORD thats just plain spooky...and cofusing...and neat...

Wow! That was good I really like that...it keeps you wondering though so you better write more soon!

amazing...i loved it. but it leaves alot of questions...but what good story doesnt

Freaky. I realy got the sad vibe from that. Oh, and i wold like to complement you on your wicked awsome name, "Dark Children of Light".