Ehh? I love you. Marry me?

The ad by google below is just hilarious. "Make him fall for you" it says, with a picture of a guy and a girl kissing.
I suppose they think it relates to your story which it does though, doesn't it? ;)
Anyway, I shall stroke your ego by saying that is great. As in a great laugh, it's not literary genius or anything. Don't want to lift that ego too much.

Ahaha. Actually, I love it. Whose to say girls don't like anime geeks though? And a pudginess and acne are fine, doesn't everyone else think so too?

...I'll be reading the rest of this later cause I love it!

i love the editor's note!
and your view of women and thoughts of the patriarchy
are refreshing and fantastic.

ahaha,
from a girl's perspective,
i love this.

*sigh* okay, I'm sorry when I called you an airhead. i know you may be offended, but now I'm quite impressed. I judged you wrong. :)
"Don’t. Date. Bitches."
if you're around my age and you live near me, i would hug you you would suffocate to death. xD
oh, and...girls would fall for you if you have good looks and this big smile on your face. =.=

"get a girl to get past the patriarchy’s bullshit and realize she’d rather fuck you"
...
you know what?
i think you're an airhead. NO OFFENSE. but SERIOUSLY, a NORMAL girl does NOT want to lose her virginity to a GUY who is NOT her husband.
I'm surprised after those long speeches you gave, you turned out to be just the same like other guys who needs a good beating.
i won't swear because i do not have the courage to swear when i don't even know you. but from this essay, your way of thinking is like an OPEN BOOK.
according to my opinion, your dream is to be married with a girl happily and have BABIES with her. URGH.

read my review until the end. It's a suggestion, and purely made from my experiences in life (yea right pssh)

xD
okay, I'm seriously laughing at this.
I don't know why I'm reading your HILARIOUS essay, but I do have a word about this since I'm a girl ;)

"Also, keep your eyes ABOVE THE CHEST when talking to a girl" YES. Totally YES. That is common sense lol. xD But you're a guy, you can't help it anyway lol. xD

and girls don't really care if the a guy is a dork or not lol. xD They just care for one who really cares about her. :)

"First things first, getting yourself presentable." *laughs* I don't think girls really care anyway. If you're wearing something that's like really fashionable, girls don't really like also since she thought other "flies" (meaning other girls) will approach her man lol. xD

"If you can manage it, spike it up with some gel; nothing says “I look cool” like some spiked up hair." ...*laughs rolling on the floor* oh my gosh...that was HILARIOUS. once, there's this guy who wear gel, and all the girls in my class were like...LAUGHING because it looked like his hair is oily. I mean, yes it gets spiked up, but in another way, girls like your hair in a NORMAL way. Do NOT gel your hair. *nods*

"Girls like good listeners, which basically means guys that can shut their mouths and say “Uh-huh” and “that’s very interesting.”" ...I do have to admit that sometimes girls like good listeners, but sometimes they also want someone who can talk much and have a good sense of humor lol. xD Trust me, girls fall hard for guys who can make her laugh. *winks*

". Try not to bitch too much about family matters, but always be willing to listen to her problems. Be able to recognize mood swings, and steer clear when a girl gets bitchy. " let me tell ya how to recognize mood swings. LOOK at her expression. A girl's face is like an OPEN WINDOW.

I think that's it for the mean time. Gonna read the next chapter when I have time though. xD
Really like it though it's from a guy's point of view lol.

THIS IS GENIUS!
I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Oh God, you are hilarious.
i am forwarding this to my friends.
brilliant.

I don't know why I clicked on this story, but I can't say that I'm sorry. This is hilarious!

It'd be great if you or your fiancee could write a companion to this essay.

Great work,
E.

Christ. Ok I'll apologise in advance and admit that I could only read up to Chapter 2...I'm left wondering whether I should laugh or cringe. It's sort of awkwardly funny, but maybe it's because I'm getting flashbacks of some bizarre terrible dates I've been on or guys I've encountered. Well anyway I'm sure there are some guys out there who are holding onto this piece like a life-line. So here are some integral things you've left out:

1. If a girl rejects you, she's rejects you. A "no" is a no, contrary to what some might think. Don't badger her about it, rather take it like a man and be friends instead...and we all know that's how a guy gets his foot into the "circle of friends" (which has oft been likened to Fort Knox) and thus access to a whole pool of potential datees (recall the branching effect for the nerd oriented). If you harass her expect to be cut down, served with a dissertation about all your unappealing qualities, and given a reputation as a sorry loser. Also don't even think about bad-mouthing her for rejecting you. If she's confident and well liked, she won't hesitate to strike out your existence from the social stratosphere;

2. Remember to bring enough money on a date. Don't expect the girl to pay for the entire taxi ride;

3. Do not blog about her in a creepy intrusive and/or emo kind of way, particularly if she doesn't know you but you have mutual acquaintences;

4. Do not publicly communicate what you would like to do to her. Gross, keep it yourself. Again she has the power to wipe out your social existence;

5. Do not spend the entire date talking about how much you love body building and the fact that you subsist on protein bars;

6. Do not go out with her solely because you think she is pretty, gorgeous, etc;

7. Do not go out with her with the sole intention of making her your arm candy;

8. Do not call her a bimbo, rich snob, etc even if it's in a joking kind of way. You don't know anything about her and after that comment you won't ever;

9. Do not use alcohol as an excuse to feel her up. Girls can pack a mean punch when they want to;

10. Tell her your opinions and listen to her's. Listen doesn't mean just nodding and smiling faintly, it means giving her words thought and consideration. Don't expect her to be impressed if she's conversing with a brick wall. Remember you do not need to agree with everything she says. Sure some girls like that, but not all;

11. Respect her need for personal space. Don't suddenly morph into a parasite;

12. If you're a guy worth keeping around, genuinely get to know her (eg her musical tastes, favourite authors, TV shows, etc). If you just want some, don't bother, unless of course that is what she's after as well. It's a two-way street: you're there to find out if she suits you just as she's there to find out if you suit her;

13. Do not secretly take her phone to call yourself to get her number. That is just creepy;

14. Do not secretly take her phone, take a photo of yourself and make it her wall paper. That is taking creepiness to new heights;

15. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to be showered with second-hand food particles;

16. Do not "compliment" her by saying "These days girls are such sluts, but you're different...". I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate a girl saying all guys are man-whores;

Above all, just be yourself. If you don't work out, then it just wasn't meant to be. There's no sense in kidding each other. At the end of the day, most girls just want a decent, considerate guy who just gets her and who isn't a dumbass, moron, sleaze-bag, raging alcoholic, narrow-minded jerk, cheap skate, parasite or narcissistic loser. There's no real recipe for it all; you either work or you don't. Also don't ever think you're not good enough because you're different to the guys she is friends with or has dated. Just give it your best shot; you never know! Good luck!

It's a total misconception that French people don't bathe. They happen to be a very clean and hygeinic people.

GUYS NEED TO READ THIS AND ALL OF THE OTHER REVIEWS YOU WILL LEARN A LOT FROM THE GIRLS REVIEWS!
Seriously i would rather a guy be himself then follow set standards. If they follow those standards then every guy would be the exact same. The best way to get a lasting relationship is to be yourself! trust me i have had guys that followed those standards and i never felt that connected to them and i didnt have as much fun with them and i didnt stay with them for long. Then there have been a couple of guys that have been themselves and i stayed with them much longer and loved being with them. A girl may not want to know ALL about you when you first meet. Slowly reveal more and more of yourself but dont wait for the girl to bring up certain subjects. Get a casual flowing conversation going and then ask do you like (insert something)? then just work from there. Keep in mind not EVERY girl is going to like you as more than a friend but the girls that do will be happy and comfortable with you.
Screw Standards Be Yourself Without Being Overbearing.
Every girl is different and likes different things
JUST LET THE CONVERSATION FLOW!

This is rather fascinating xD The dry humor is priceless can't wait to read more.

You're such a college boy! I shake my head at you. You'll be saying different things in three to four years, I bet you. Go back to what you were saying before. It was good. You say women play mind games. Well I say men play mind games too.
.
In response to paragraph number seven (or eight if you count the "huh"):
A man telling a woman he loves her is not showing weakness. That's just idiotic for you to say so. A man telling a woman he loves her when he doesn't really (and is only infatuated) or when she doesn't love him is not received well. You've got to make sure she loves you before you tell her. If, after a few months, she doesn't, you might need to dump her and move on. Whenever anyone apologizes for something he or she didn't do, it's confusing and may be seen as manipulative. Just don't freakin appologize for what you didn't do. What's the point? If a guy can't show affection, he shouldn't even be in a relationship. What are they going to do, then? Bicker at each other? The last sentence might be harder to explain though, mainly because I wonder about that with my girlfriends sometimes. My ideal is someone that completely fits ME (like a 3D puzzle), but I know two of them that like what completely fits what they've learned is right. So that depends on the girl.
.
I will admit that your hero paragraph was good, as far as my thoughts go. I mean, we see the "hero" type in childhood with Disney movies and then hopefully, some come to realize that being swept off our feet is not as great as something that will actually LAST. And something that will last is harder to find. Romance does not equate to love and is poor by comparison. Although option B does fucking exist. I've seen it in couples, some that are even dead now because they got so old. I mean, just look at Ronald Reagan and his wife. Oh, and what was up with the illegitimate children in the beginning of your speech. You totally do not have those.

I just replied to ch. 1. This is great too. Jabberwocky! Yay! I'm so glad you know that poem. I've read some reviews, and I don't know what you write in the next chapter, but you've done a very good job so far of being right. And funny too! The first few sentences - "where the bitches at?" - made me laugh.