Wow. Seriously, you should get this published.

This is my last review until I read a few more chapters and have more to add. The start of chapter five, however, reminds me of Prince Wencaslas. The part is protrayed by Jonathan Brandis. It's hard to find, as it aired only a few times on the Family Channel, but I suggest you look up on youtube for "The Good King." I think you'll enjoy his performance. He always gave 110%.

Again, you keep the reader involved. I'm rarely this enthused about continueing on to another chapter.

Oh, how sad! It's rare that I feel for the characters in the stories I read on fictionpress, but yours left me feeling dispondant for the loss of Aleen, even though she was not a very developed character. The Prince will hopefully learn some humility from this.

Your description is not cut and dry. You do something that my mentor has been trying to drill into me. "Show the reader your world. Don't just tell them about it."

Again, I have no negative critisism. I'm expecting an explanation for the riot to be in the coming chapters.

I'm only on chapter two, and already this feels like a polished novel. You really must get this published, for I would like to see the maps you've drawn, the character sketches and backgrounds you've scribbled down, the definitions of native animals and plants, a glossery of terms and history, ect.

I have no negative comments. The story flows.

Very well written. I found nothing wrong gramtically, and your vocabulary is broad enough that I wasn't startled by repeated words or simplistic skills. The story was engaging from the start. The brief background of the High King was enough to give the reader a sense of understanding without blowing the whole plot line, or showing too much of your skirt at once, so to speak.

I commend you on this, and I will enjoy reading the rest of the story.

great story! you should deffinatly get it published! I like the ending, it didn't leave any nagging questions, not that i can think of yet anyways :P i look forward to seeing anything else you can dream up!

loved ur story!!

I appreaciate your appreciation, even though I got no idea what I did to deserve it. Can't help but to think "whoo! i'm in the credits! yay" anyway :)

...that was just brilliant. I loved it!

Edited up a tad more, formatting changed and I could so see this as a top-selling book. ;)

Keep the great work up!

This was amazing. It should be published. I would buy it and read it again if it were published. I've always been fond of stories centred around the balance in magic. Light and dark etc. But you expanded this idea and made it even better, avoiding common cliches in these kind of fantasy stories. Your descriptions were vivid and detailed without being fussy and this story will be in my favourites. Well done.

Peace, luv and jelly babies,

Tanika

oh my ** god. I loved this. It is so amazing. Urgh if it gets published I'm going to go find it and buy it. and then tell my friends about it. I mean you have a real gift for writing. Have a hug!

sounds intresting

that story was beautifull!

i love that ending. but the word lose is spelled lose not loose. but ya. loved it. nuff said. well done, u got some real talent girl. looking forward to more catobleepas!

SO KISS ALREADY! when are ben and nia gonna get together? i'm getting impatient... lol.

i'm back! for a while, neway. hopefully i'll finish the story b4 i get busy again. i'm also tryin to work on sorceress. after this chapter (the one i'm writing) all the painful stuff is over and all i hav to do is convert wat i've already written into novel form. :) but ya, i totally love this story and i'm excited to see the ending. if nethin strikes me readin the next few chapters, i'll review, but if not, just know that i love it all!! and of course i will deifinitely offer final feedback at the end. and get back to work on catobleepas!! lol, i really want to see that story end. neway, l8r chick, hope ur year out is going well!