Not as goodas your poetry, but still really good. I like the metaphor at the end

lovely

i rarely read anything thats not poetry, but- this is awesome. I read the first sentace and was like "woah, i've got to finish this now." Very well written, the conversation is real and natural, the imagery is strong, altogether an excellent piece of writing.

Love your style on this one!

Wow. Seriously, just...wow. That was beautiful. Well, it was less isn't-it-wonderful beautiful and more painful ripping-your-heart-out beautiful. Extremely well written, great concept, perfect in depth feeling. This is one of those peices that every teenage girl should read, one of those things that every girl goes through. Fantastic job all around. I can't find a single thing to critisize. And that is a first. Congrats, you have a lot of talent.