There were a few mistakes--I only saw 2--but this is a good story. I liked the Mark&Kris part (I'm a fan of boyxboy stories and I'm starting to get a liking of girlxgirl stories). And I have one request: CONTINUE, PLEASE!!

I suppose Mark is Marie's brother. Is that right? Can you get more discriptions of the character's feelings and the surrounding area? Like the table and the rooms that the kids are staying in...Happy Valentines Day!

Well yeah you..whoever you are that wrote the first review...is right. There were a few mistakes...Amber you should check em first. But about it being nasty that the two girls are lovers...well its life so you cant really say its nasty. That hurts ppl alright...? I mean im not anything like that Im pretty damn straight but ppl feel discriminated when you say that ** so if your going to think its gros...dont read the stories...Amber great story...keep writing!

Firstly, you got to check for errors. You wrote here for hear and much more. I'm a little scared, because everyone is like... gay. You've got to be more discriptive about the people. I got a general idea how the mobs look like, but I don't know how the scene looks, how the elevator looks, or how basicly everything looks. And in your first paragraphs, could you explain to me where and when all this is taking place, and why. I liked it. Though I was grossed out by the two female lovers, and I was kinda hoping that Marie and Kris could like eachother.