I have to say that I really liked this song. I especially loved a several bits and pieces of this poem, such as

"I return to thoughts of you"

"Won't you come and go away/I know you'll do that/That's why I say"

"Skipping along through the falling rain/It doesn't matter if I get wet"

and

"Tell me to go away"

because they really pulled everything together just perfectly. The repetition of "You" clearly states what so many of us feel: That it's only them (the person in the position of the subject of your song) and nobody else. Extremely well done, and keep writing!

P.S. - Thanks so much for your review!:)

wow, you're really good with songs. i'm guessing this "you" person was pretty much...ehh, not so great.

i especially liked these lines:"Skipping along through the falling rain

It doesn’t matter if I get wet

Waiting for the ice chill

The stealing warm of pneumonia"

great job! ^_^

I kind of agree.. four 'you's would be better. But then, that's just my opinion..

I've never seen any poem quite like this. I like it a lot. However it might flow a little better if it said "you" four times instead of five.. I found myself reading skipping the 5th you without thinking about it =P