was this story inspired by It's A Crazy Thing by Jeru134?
I liked your story though. lots of.. potential.

i think you should keep writing it.

are u going to finish it? it's still ok, i think.

*laughs* Interesting chapter, it was good. The only suggestion I could give it some sort of indication that the scene switched. Like indent the first paragraph of the new scene ...

Hmm ... other than that the writing is flawless - everything sounds awesome!

Heya, bonjour good friend.

Well, it's starting off awesome, I'll tell you that much. The first part confused me. I dunno why but the fact that her father is always referred to in the narration as 'daddy' is kinda awkward ...

I'm liking this though. A little confused at the first part but I'll have to be patient and read on for that.