Though this cliche has been thoroughly re-used, the vivid way you described the story made the plot your own.

I absolutely loved the contrast between the tragedy and gooey-ness of this story :)

oh my god i love this :D...i'm such a sucker for happy endings...i wish i have someone like that guy :P

...

*smiles*

Cute.

i just...wow.

i know i'm supposed to be giving you a "well-rounded critique" but honestly--there is no way i can try to make you improve on this. it's amazing.

Fantastic story!


xx

Only one thing to say: O...me likey.
XD
Adorable story.

Kawaii! So sweet =D

aww I love this story...

well, its a one-shot and i liked it. but if it was a story, a longer one i mean, would they regret the kissing the next day?

This is great! I like how you wrote this in first person because this is the sort of story most people can relate too. It makes the emotions deeper and extremely realistic. It's hard to pick out everything in this story that I liked and talk about it since I like everything...alot! I guess all I can say is that I hope one day you will write a longer story about these two; I feel like they have a long and sometimes rocky road ahead of them, because in many ways the ARE real. Great writing!
Raen

Aw... Beautifully written. I loved it. But the paragraph about crying like a three year old losing their parakeet and heroine-crying (etc) has been used almost exactly the same way in "Chasing Mussolini". It's a great description, but maybe you shouldn't have used it twice?
Anyway, I absolutely love these stories. You're a great writer. :)

Really sweet. I love the opening lines of this well done!

This piece is really well done too... I like the second person narration. All the emotions described in this story are so truthful, it's almost frightening, especially the second paragragh. While the kiss doesn't seem random, it doesn't seem quite right either. It seems like too much, an emotional overload, just after she's been crying. It's understandable that the guy wants to comfort her but in a way, kissing her just after she's been crying sort of seems like he's taking advantage of her. Again, that last line is wonderful.

E! I hate you!! Not really..but now I really, really want a guy to snog with...sniff sniff

Really great! haha it really grabbed me!