xD I'm too lazy to log in.

The first time I read this through, I was a little confused. You had everything all nice and spread apart and interwoven, past and present, but I was skimming and that's probably not the best to do. xD

The second time I read it, I was practically in tears. The ending was definitely strong and probably my favorite part of the whole thing. Dreaming of Gabe's death was really neat, I think.

I'll stop rambling now. Great job on the story.

That was incredible! The way it's written and everything! Damn! I'm speechless! It gave me goosebumps. Wow. Very intense. The little previews of what would later happen and flashbacks of what had already happened are masterfully placed. It's a wonderful story. Honestly, I am in awe!

*applauses* awesome way of tying it up! There was just one fault, you've forgotten to use lines. Fictionpress cramps the stuff up and doesn't leave more than one empty line, therefore it's hard to understand when a new part begins, so you have to use lines. The story is awesome, and your language too!I'd love to hear your opinion on my stuff also *dance*

Oh my gosh! I love this one. I love how you used the repitition thing where you incorporate something in the beginning where it doesn't make much sense and then use it again when it does. Lots of language, but I think some of it helped convey the meaning.

Gosh, that ended entirely differently from anything I could have anticipated! I genuinely felt for Arden; he wasn't fake, he wasn't 'too good to be true', he was just a regular person caught up in a horrible situation.

Wow...that was just...wow! It was great!

wow that was mind blowing. as a gay man from pittsburg i can really relate to my story. my lover agrees with me, you should write a novel girl, your stuff is fabulous!!