It is quite touching.

And I know it’s a dream because when awake

I don’t see you

You don’t smile at me

You don’t need me

You don’t love me

So maybe this lack of consciousness is better than feeling refreshed

Maybe I will walk through life with this anti-connection

I want to give the narrator a hug~

i liked the repetition with "a barricade" and "you don't". i thought that overall it was a pretty good poem. Perhaps the word zombie threw me off a bit, but that's just me

Nicely done, I like the theme. Very well constructed piece.

Interesting word choice, although it does sound a bit like rambling in the beginning. At the conclusion, though, it is some extremely well done use of metaphor. Overall, great job. Just try to make the beginning flow a bit better.

I really like how the way this is written is kind of disjointed, like the way you think when you're half-asleep, thoughts floating everywhere. Very well-written.

I really like this poem, You should try your hand at writing some more. ^^

~ Lor Lor

I like this piece. The lines are direct and powerful; they seem like they're coming straight from the heart. My favorite line was:

"My tank is on empty, so I continue to roll downhill"

Nice job!

-L-P.S. Thanks for the review!

You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Thanks for your review! This poem is great, it's very sweet and well written. Keep up the good work!

The poem doesn't give a lot of imagery and I think the feelings are too splayed out (you said you could take critiim; I hope you weren't lying beause I'd at least like to live until twenty-four)

wow, it's great! Nicely written!

I don't want to say any other thing about this, but amazing...i dont want to ruin such great work...hope you could share a few of your insights about the rest of my works...keep it up...

nice work. effective last line.check my stuff out if you've got the timeinzaniti