It's funny how rhymes can sometimes make things sound comical or less serious, but this is done so well that that doesn't happen, it just moves the poem along and reflects panic and urgency. They also don't sound too forced. The last few lines grow increasingly more powerful and you magically manage to slow the pace of it somehow, just with the language. I am VERY impressed! x

oh...*o effect.*great work. this is both vivid and fuzzy. leaves a lot to the imagination. i love it.

this definitely bespeaks the horror: multiple methods and the finality of it all. (see my Acronyms)

;-; You make some of the deepest poetry I have ever read. ;0; Where fo you learn it !! Tell me !? I demand !! You must ! O3O Please ? ^^;

~ Noelle ~

This is really good, tragic and well-worded, but are you sure it should be rated G?

the last line was really powerful I can really feel the perspective of the person.