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| phangirl27 2008-03-28 ch 6,  | abuseThis is random- I know but many times when I can't sleep or just don't want to I read some of your stories (I read the St. James sisters from around 10 at night to 10 the next morning then slept for a long time (it was my birthday too!)). I love your writing, the style and structure is ok but what I like most of all are your dynamics between people, the way they interact with one another such as in this story Lin and Lydie are perfect together whether as friends or more and I can't wait to figure out if they will become more or not. Half of me is hoping they will stay friend and half is wishing for them to become more. It's just brillant! They all seem so real to me and the dialogue is great! I am in this creative writing class and we turn in stories for the class to read and many of my classmates have trouble with dialouge but with you it seems to just flow. One thing that bothered me in the beginning of this story was your set up of the characters, you spent two paragraphs describing Adele and Lydie- you could just slowly disperse that information without giving it in such huges chunks. It will help with your story flow if you do that. I notice that there is a huge difference between your writing here and in the waterways of darcidy and in solitaire- you are getting better and will proabaly improve more (keep reading and writing!) Happy Hunting! phangirl ^_^ |
| ANGEL992210 2007-03-09 ch 25, | abuseVERY GOOD. |
| Alenor 2006-10-08 ch 25, | abuseheya, this is a great story. i'm glad lydie and jamie got together, cya later ~ ALenor. |
| Joelene R. Gonzales 2006-04-15 ch 25, | abuseI like this story alot, It was rather cute but it looks like it was ended rather fast, Also was shocked to find out she was 16 I thought she be older. Great story Rene keep it up! |
| Alexis Kent 2006-03-12 ch 3, | abuseHm...I like it. I like it, but, I must say that things seem a bit contrived and forced at parts, especially Adele's interaction with Lin. Even for a 'coquette' she seems to develop too serious a crush from just their brief meeting at the beginning.Additionally, the characters behave in a totally juvenile fashion in this third chapter. Why couldn't Lin just be honest with Adele instead of 'pretending' to be in love with Lydie? It certainly doesn't make him look any better to the reader. What time is this set in? At some parts it seems fairly modern, maybe the 60's or so, but then you'll mention a carriage or long dress and it gets confusing again. Hope the review didn't sound too harsh; just my two cents worth. :) |
| Shez 2005-08-13 ch 23, | abusecool chapter, i really didnt think that Lydia and James would match but so far youve done a great job of changing my mind.please update soon |
| Shez 2005-08-11 ch 19, | abusei love your story and your story is excellent, i just hope that Lydie chooses to be with Lin and Not James coz Lin seems so much nicer. |
| ATH-dreams 2005-07-26 ch 25, | abuseThis was the most wonderfully written story I've read in many years. I really wish for you to get this published becuase you know a books good when your heart speads up and you start to cry. That exactly what happened when i read this. I wish you the best luck in life. ~tickles!~ |
| Eva Lilac 2005-07-05 ch 9, | abuseI have two questions. When does this story take place?How old is Adele? I think this story is great. Keep up with the good work! |
| HeavensLoverBoy 2005-06-18 ch 25, | abuseagain...enchanting...the characters are real and oh! i love it...onto the favorites... |
| Devonshirelass 2005-06-03 ch 5, | abuseHa! Looks like Adele has met her match! Look forward to reading more... |
| Devonshirelass 2005-06-03 ch 4, | abuseI am glad she has found a new friend. I look forward to reading how she and Lin are getting on. I think their relationship has real potential! |
| Devonshirelass 2005-06-03 ch 3, | abuseI thought it was a quick turnaround for Adele, so suddenly her feelings changed from jealousy at her friend 'poaching' her man, to being happy, I think this is all an act. I look forward to reading more... |
| Devonshirelass 2005-06-03 ch 2, | abuseThe children sound so sweet. I hope she gets along there okay, i look forward to reading the next chapter... |
| Devonshirelass 2005-06-03 ch 1, | abuseIt looks like these two will be an amusing pair! I look forward to reading more of their escapades! |