 Ephemeral Seraphim 2005-04-08 . chapter 1Ah man, I was sure that I reviewed this one too. But that doesn't matter, since I always enjoy reading your works. Let's see, you also have effective formatting and poetical devices throughout the piece, especially with the parenteses and stream of consciousness flow going around here. It's well done, and makes the overall product all the more effective. Your massive vocabulary is also brilliant in this piece, and you make poetry as this seem so effortless and easy. The last line was beautiful conclusion to this masterwork, and I hope to see more like this in the future.
chibichocobo |
 KonekOniko 2005-02-06 . chapter 1Brilliant. |
 Aimee Raven 2005-01-29 . chapter 1Aww...that's such a sad poem...poor girl...*sigh*. Nothing to say, awesome as usual. Love, Mia |
 clockwork kiss 2005-01-18 . chapter 1Very, very nice work. I love all the allusions stuffed in here :). The first and the second stanzas in the parenthesis were my favorites. "she got lost in swirling / origami paper" especially brought a pretty picture to my mind. The last parenthesis stanza brought your poem's true meaning to life, and the pace seemed to speed up, hitting home at the last line with a bang. Only critique: The 4th parenthesis stanza didn't seem to fit in as well as the other four. The imagery just seemed... different. Not bad, but not the same, either. Anyways... GREAT work. I enjoyed muchly.
-Mindy |
 SeraphicTempest 2005-01-18 . chapter 1Rather bitter and cynical with a sardonic tone. Brilliant poem, fits right in with your style. Will you be updating HOA soon? |
 really 2005-01-16 . chapter 1ooh girl power i sense. haha. this is really powerful too. you've got a sense of rhythm and the style is unique. but yeah, what's with the brackets? it seems a bit.. wannabe NO OFFENCE. REALLY. i think it helps with the atmosphere and mood though, as if the speaker is whispering, thinking. |
 reicheru* 2005-01-15 . chapter 1 uhh. i liked the strawberries part. happy belated birthday evelyn in case you're seeing this.
hamlet brings back bad memories.
lovee, rei. |
 Ohmm 2005-01-14 . chapter 1Aha beautiful imagery and description as always. The only gripe I have is that sometimes I don't really get the flow - or perhaps that's because I don't know evelyn personally .__. Good job though! |
 only weekdays 2005-01-13 . chapter 1slinkster cool!
i absolutely love the strawberries and the mermaid part because they are something that is SO there and something that would never cross my mind to write. |
 Manuel Fajar 2005-01-13 . chapter 1Nametag on lapel,
Rigoletto puns her name,—
Fat lady stung sung.
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Oxymoron ox,
Morons—fox: both your black locks,
!Pox!—Oxygen looks.
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Perplexed, not vexed hex,—
Lexicon excitement—text,
Cannot contain you. —m— |
 myno 2005-01-13 . chapter 1i love it. All the statements, and then images, anecdotes, slices of life in brackets. beautiful. |
 Cyssel 2005-01-13 . chapter 1O.o what's this with the brackets?! uhh I did like the choice of words in this poem. Prefer to your previous one. but what you've been writing lately doesn't seem to captivate me much. maybe because it's too long... hmm -winter |