I really don't get it, it is a little random. A little to random for me to understand. Next time I think you should start a question that starts with the same word like 'why' or 'when'. Those should make the story pull together when the story is to random. Think to yourself "Will this make sence to the reader even if it does make sence to me?" Some times things don't make sence to people though you see it in a different way in your own mind.
I hope this sounded clear to you.

Karen
Co-Founder of the Reviewers Kingdom