::trying to remember how old bryan and allie are:: oh, well. guess that isn't too important, eh?

interesting that she's never seen her brother's friend before...i think i'd be scared out of my mind to discover my brother had a close friend i didn't know about...especially since i'm always hanging out with his friends... oh, well...

anyhow. i like how all the siblings get along so well, that's always fun. topher and allie's relationship seems to be progressing rather quickly, but i daresay that's the point. you'll forgive me for not being too convinced that these things actually happen, but since i've never had a guy yet and tend to be cynical about chance meetings... but heck, that's what fiction's for, right? to have anything you want happen. good times.

will we get to see the parents at all? it seems as though the older kids are practically responsible for marie, and if they're all off gallivanting, things don't look too good for the little one, ya know? so maybe mention the parents here or there.

anyway. i'm going to go try and write something myself now. keep this up

wh00t! STORY >B CHRIS/TOPHER! XD Why didnt I SEE that?! XD

Mistake? >>“What are you talking about?” Bryan asked, doing the same as Allie had just done, “his name is Topher. He’s been my friend for quite some time now. You must be confused, with all those giddy thoughts floating in your head.”

Bryan knows him by Chris and you accidentally put Topher >B I think? I may be wrong but just letting you know just in case ^^;

aha! i was right about what would happen! i hope that's not the end...because it was just getting good! please continue!

aww cute!! cant wait to read more!! UPDATE SOON!!

Wow...I can't wait for the rest of the story. You have great character description and vivid description. But you never talk about the Marshal's parents. Are they gone??

this is so sweet.

damn girl. you've got me hooked on this story! it's really REALLY good. i think i have an idea of what this big surprise is. hehehe. please update soon. i can't wait to read more!

Whoot!! MORE TOMORROW!

i like it so far.cant wait to read more.so please update soon.

Ohmagoo'nes! :squishletackle: I'm liking this. Topher and Allison...aw that sounds so cute!! You ganna write more?! When?! Now! XD

"mentally cursing himself for stooping so low" niice. i like it. not much else to say, seeing as it is terribly short and not too action-packed, but it definitely looks like it could be interesting. keep it coming!

Bryan and Allie are mine. THEY ARE MINE!! *Claims Bryan as hers, and Allie too* Write more!!