Yeah, it's the stuppidest feeling in the world, yet you miss it!I know exactly what you mean.I have that feeling every day...and every day I fear I won't have it again.Ah I hate this(actually I love it,but that's not the point)Love it,great "poem"

Well it definitely needs a higher rating for your language usage here. I like the beginnings of this, the specific images you used--for instance,"Conversations under the swirling smoke of cigarettes." And the voice you used in the poem--a regular person, stream of consciousness, as if actual speech instead of metrical, metaphorical poetry. Makes it feel more down to earth rather than beautiful. I think it needs some editing to make it more vivid and descriptive, and perhaps eliminate the "I mean" and "seriously" kind of things. And lines like "Holy **" are pretty unnecessary, in my opinion. Regardless, do change the rating to a PG-13 or something for that. I think it needs some work, but a very nice idea, I think. ~MJ